something i have been thinking for quite sometime now..
all my life I thought of minimalism as that perfect notion of 'how to live one's life happily', turns out I wasn't quite right about it.
I don't know but I've always or most of the time seen good in people that is why I'm good at starting conversations or making friends I guess - honestly considering him/her to be nicest warmest person I met, oversharing which then leads me to a point where it all comes crashing down . He/she wasn't the person you thought they were (a wolf in sheep's clothing? ... maybe) and so forth. Why am I back again with the same mundane stories of betrayal you ask? Well, because here is the root of all problems. SETTLING FOR LESS.
I've had scary big ambitions in life - which mostly just vanish into thin air because my focus shifted lol. Shit happened !! It would've been absolutely worth it if settling with less comes with happiness but in my case - my destiny had other plans - there's always been a cycle of 'being over friendly- 2 sec of fake emotions- betrayal- heartbreaks' episodes. OH NO NO! I'm not completely innocent - we all make mistakes I did too but honestly my intentions were harmless.  Exactly bringing me back to the point as to why settling for less is dangerous for me.
Never too late though right?
my FOCUS has shifted.
my CHAKRAS are aligned.
(mercury retrograde can buzz off lol)
my INNER PEACE is back (Po's voice)
       ME TO ME:
 "being a minimalist if fine as long as you don't literally settle for it" 
         

I don't even know if anyone even reads this anymore haha nevertheless I am going to write about about this coz Tis that season again.
I know there's gonna be a lot of people who will resonate with what I am about to write about, grab your coffee, wine ...because this is going to be a long one.
DEPRESSION-ANXIETY - you might have heard a lot about these. I was an immature shit when I used to get bored listening to talks on such topics. There are still a lot of people who think that there is no such thing as mental health. It's when you experience it you know.
Question arises - what do you have to be sad about? You've everything you should feel grateful about? There are worst things in life .. yada yada
This is where we forget I guess, that there's a lot of problem with someone if even with everything in life he/she feels broken and shattered on the inside (surrounded by people yet so lonely kinda feeling)
I'm by no means any psychologist lol this is all from my own experience.
Although there are days when you come across people who are so self consumed with themselves, who see nothing wrong in making me people feel worse about themselves - basically narcissist. It is said that a narcissist attracts an empath - not saying I am one but I believe in kindness and forgiveness . I don't hold grudges forever. If people have done me wrong me wrong I somewhere blamed it all on Karma . Such experiences which then lead you to think of worst about situations in life- OVERTHINKING basically.
Notwithstanding that , when you carefully examine the roots of it all is- 'how happy is one about themselves- SELF LOVE. How do you expect to spread positivity and happiness if you are not happy with yourself. The moment you let a situation or an individual take the course of your life unknowingly. That's it. For you it seemed like happiness and 'all wonderful things in life', rather it was just another mistake you made- the consequences of which you face in a month/year I don't know. You get caught up in a series of unfortunate events with no exit. You make mistakes (not grave ones of course), but your clean intentions lets you be your honest self. They take advantage of it all. You question your existence and so it keeps repeating .
lol I never really believed in oracles and sadhu babas as such , my mom once might have met one and what he said about me is really astonishing (now when I think about it). Exact words were "she will have a lot of friends in her life - but more than half of them will be talking behind her back".
I love meeting new people - making new friends but the problem is I guess I'm just naive to never understand that 'people can be double faced'. I never understood their true intentions. On my farewell party panel asked me what  wisdom you live with in life and I said "THAT PEOPLE ARE NOT REALLY BAD, SITUATIONS MAKES THEM SO" - and I still live by that, but I forget to introspect the actions and words- the other person is conveying. I have a really bad habit of ignoring the negative signs.
Where does this all lead to now ? (guess we got a little emotional and got a little distracted from our main topic lol) Every negative aspect of your life adds up, because you are an over thinker it all adds up , because you don't really trust anybody - it adds up more. You keep second guessing about seeing a therapist. You think about the worst. You question your purpose in life, and I guess nothing can get
worse than that.  Existential crises is still fine - but what I felt was something worse than this.
 Hey don't worry.. I'm feeling okay while I'm writing all this. That's why I got the courage to write in first place. I've been reading mind opening books and meditating you see - little hard but getting there.
There are some things I learnt in past few months (I should've realised long time back)

• No quiet city can bring you peace if one's mind is f***ed up. 
• Don't depend on another person for  happiness - because only you can (damnit this is what Buddism teaches - am I even Buddhist if I don't realise this at least #smh)
• Don't stop making friends - but understand their intentions first.
• Give yourself time to grieve , it doesn't make you look stupid I promise.
• Talk about your feelings to few important people in your life , otherwise why would you be calling them important in the first place. duh! They won't judge for sure.
• Every morning- give yourself a pep talk about all the good things in life.
• Do you a crazy purpose in life - something people underestimate you about? Well screw them. Hold onto it- Work. *wink wink*

Why waste time sulking over something - ever heard of IMPERMANENCE? Yeah well that shit is real. the only freaking truth. Anyhow climate change crisis is going to make our life span much shorter might as well learn to love ourselves and be happy for however long we are here for eh?
Also by the way its kinda late I know but learning a lot about sustainability and conscious living- been kind of practising them as well :). Go Greta Thunberg. *woot woot*
I'm learning as I go y'all .
For now I am okay and I will continue to be OKAY :)

It’s been how long now? 1 year 7 months. I’ve been a ‘youtuber’ for sometime now 😅 , albeit I missed writing a lot. Something I discovered about myself recently is how bad I am at expressing verbally. Writing has always been so therapeutic and of course I had to come back here. 2018 is almost ending and I have a lot on my chest which needs to be out there. Like I wrote in one of my posts earlier , it’s never a bad year or month but the angle at how we want to view things. Then again, we are all human - feeling feelings since centuries ... some of us more so than rest. Happiness, heartache, deception, betrayal, love, care - our life being a constant cycle revolving around it all. 

Some days happiness know no bounds - your heart ....it’s all flowers, butterflies, clear blue skies. Next thing you know - everything dead and dark clouds all over. Blaming/hating is such an easy thing to do for us, but what’s good it is doing for OURSELVES.  Is it worth it? I’ll leave this for you guys to ponder on. 

I’m no saint , and on dark days I did got hurt ,blamed, hated , cursed and was filled with rage - full on Ursula mode haha. 

My closest ones knows this Ursula me is only a one night story. Next morning - ‘Your little mermaid is back bitches’ lol. When I think about it , letting the Ursula gets the best of you is Okay for time being but not worth it for a long run. 

Believe it when they say, ‘those are life lessons’ , because that’s the truth. At the end of the day , you’re at your happy place and what’s left of all those negativity in your life? Nothing! 

If you still think you’re not uquite satisfied with that , there’s nothing you gotta do because KARMA is real . Like I said I’m no saint , we’ve been someone’s sad story and if the mistake is grave not forgivable it comes back to us like ‘on your face bitch’ haha. When this sad episode of your life show ends, God will already be busy writing the happy script for you . It’ll be in form of anything - a person , pet, a book, a trip anything . 

So the point is - 

You’re hurt? Take that glass of wine and let it all out today. Tomorrow you’re going to put that make up, dress up hot , go out with people who matter and post selfies with badass quotes on Instagram , but be actually HAPPY because that’s what matters after all. 

Happy Losar  (Ladakhi new year) everyone!

'40 degrees , scorching heat , sweaty days, tan lines'
 - that's how i would've summed up SUMMERS but then we have -
'Palm trees, ice-creams, boater hats, cute espadrilles and wide sleeved off shoulders'
-turns out summer's not that bad after all-
STAY COOL y'all
until next time
XOXO

 OUTFIT
shoes- koovs
boater hat- h&m
shorts- h&m
top- thrifted

Incorporating a lot of colour in my wardrobe lately and pastel being the topmost choice of all. Every time I go shop ,can't help but notice the colour and fall for it like a fool. Let's just say your girl is all about colours for quite sometime now .I would be lying if I won't say the same about my life these days. It wasn't all black and white before , no! Just that when you are romantically involved with a panda lol (because 'I'm in love with ....' is too mainstream ) your life is all rainbows and unicorns and butterflies. Yes you read that right! This is the first ever post of #thisminimallife writing about LOVE , no complaints ,no regrets , no sad songs and just love. I believe that your first love really teaches you the true meaning of love and when it breaks.. your life falls apart (not literally though) . Then for a while your views on whole idea of love changes completely, maybe excuse the topic by calling it a 'child's play' somedays ... Y'all know it better. This goes on for a while, people walks in and out and you're the same because now you fear of vulnerability and taking chances. 

Although the 'self-love' thing is forever my life Myntra , but there are days when i go through things that makes me question everything . No I'm not menstruating and no it's no mood swings.